thinkers wife

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Posts by thinkers wife

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  27

  What was your favorite Christmas gift?

  by Billygoat in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm hoping nobody already did a thread on this.

  but who of you were good boys and girls this year?

  what was the best thing that santa brought you?

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  thinkers wife

  My life-time best gift is being with Thinker!! He rocks my world!!!!!!!
  TW
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  20

  39 years for Mulan and dad!

  by Princess in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  thirty nine years ago today, my parents were married.

  i am very greatful for that winter day in 1962!

  of course i wouldn't be here if they hadn't married, but more than that i am so lucky to have such wonderful parents who set an amazing example of how good a marriage can be.

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  thinkers wife

  Congratulations Marilyn and Dave!!!!!! What a wonderful tribute to soul mates!!!!!!! Hope you had a wonderful celebration!!
  TW
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  24

  Mr Dedalus, married man

  by dedalus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  foxy and i were married this sunday in a small ceremony before family & friends.

  yippie!.

  an observation: we hired a justice of the peace more or less at random from the phone book.

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  thinkers wife

  Congratulations!!! May all your wishes and dreams come true.
  Thinker and I were married by a woman JP too. Felt the same way. Very intimate and joyful!!
  Looking forward to seeing the bundle of joy!
  TW
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  24

  What's Your New Years Resolution............

  by ladonna in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  no, i haven't told you mine because i need some ideas from you guys .

  giving up spending so much time on the forum????.

  nah!!!

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  thinkers wife

  LaDonna,
  Thanks for asking. Telling all of you might make it stick even more.
  Next October is my twenty fifth high school reunion. I have never attended one. I am determined that now that I am happily married and "normal" (out of the org. , I am going.)
  Thinker gave me a year's membership to a local gym. I AM GOING TO BE BUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  TW
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  21

  Disfellowshipping: A protection in the end?

  by Esmeralda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well, the year is nearly out, and as the new one approaches i'm thinking back on 2 years of being in the online exjw community and, in june 2002, my four year anniversary of my df'ing.. when first i came to h2o seeking comfort and support in january 2000, i had been df'd for a year and a half and online nearly 4 years but never had the guts to type "jehovah's witnesses" into a search engine.

  that search led me to freeminds (thanks, randy *hug*) and then, to h2o.. what a journey its been.

  i've gone from devastation at losing my family, to anger, through the anger to numbness, back through sadness, and now after much soul searching and a chance change of circumstances last summer, come to look at my disfellowshipping in an entirely new light.. those who know my history know that i was born into the borg, baptized at 12, married at 19, and was a very loyal, unquestioning dub until the age of 24 when the elders told me that my miscarried babies had no status with god.

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  thinkers wife

  Esmeralda,
  I have said it before but it bears repeating. We really think so much alike. If I had sat down and really put my mind to writing how I have felt through all the changes since I Da'ed myself in June of 2000, I believe I would have come up with words very similiar to yours!! Excellent.
  We can either cry over spilt milk or we can rejoice in our wonderful life that we have now and move on.
  I have also come to the stage where I realize in my heart, that though I love my family deeply and always will, we have absolutely nothing in common.
  Back in July my mother made a very rude comment to me to the effect that I had done the organization a favor by da'ing myself. I remember thinking, I did myself a favor. And the more time that goes by the more I realize that.
  I just had a conversation this morning with one of my clients (I clean for a living and have had most of them for many years. They are familiar with my situation and have seen the changes in me for the better) She said "When you first got involved with your husband I had my reservations, but I was just telling the lady next door this morning, it is the best thing that ever happened to you. You are happier now than I have ever seen you, and it seems like you just keep getting happier". She also knows that I left the JW's and I know that in her mind though she may never say it, that it also has something to do with that as well.
  So thank you for sharing your thoughts and in the process writing down my own!!
  Love to your and yours,
  TW
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  49

  To: Ex-JW Women - Your Side

  by Amazing in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ex-jw women: i, and i assume other ex-jw men, would enjoy hearing your views, opinions, feelings, analysis, and conclusions about your jw experience.

  how did you feel about your husband, fathers, brothers, elders, ms's, and other women in the organizations?

  did you generally feel oppression, and why?

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  thinkers wife

  Welcome to the board HL. Seems this board draws strange bedfellows. Interesting to have two (I assume ex's in two different ways) literally and spiritually!!
  That feet story just made me sick. I went though all kinds of stuff with my ex. I guess the final indignity was when he went and told the elders I was with holding sex from him. By that time I was pretty immune to the degradation he put upon me. So when the elder came to me and confronted me with this abominable situation, I asked the elder what I should do, since obviously this man was not attractive in any way as well as screaming at me twenty-four seven. (Yes he even screamed abusives at me in his sleep I lie not) You know what that elder said? "Drink a lot of wine and then do it" I said, "You know what if you want him so bad you drink a bottle of wine and have sex with him" I have so many stories they would fill a book. But I won't bore you all with all of the details.
  Again, I am very impressed with the common thread I keep hearing here!! Keep it up ladies, it helps to know you weren't alone!!!!
  Hugs to all even the guys LOL,
  TW
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  17

  Whats your favourite red wine plus describe its ..

  by Celtic in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  palette?

  fruity, berries, elegant, rich etc etc.

  whos got the best red wine in the world?.

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  thinkers wife

  I love Cabernet Sauvinuan (I know that isn't spelled right) and Merlot.
  They both have a rich full flavor!!
  Learned to drink dry wines when I was in Europe!
  TW
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  49

  To: Ex-JW Women - Your Side

  by Amazing in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ex-jw women: i, and i assume other ex-jw men, would enjoy hearing your views, opinions, feelings, analysis, and conclusions about your jw experience.

  how did you feel about your husband, fathers, brothers, elders, ms's, and other women in the organizations?

  did you generally feel oppression, and why?

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  thinkers wife

  It is so weird that each and every women that posts to this subject states at least on thing that I can relate to. Personally I see a very common thread throughout the entire discussion.
  Andee, I agreed with your statement whole heartedly. I always say that in general life is easier for people of lower intelligence. In and out of the JW's. Why? Because they just don't get it and don't care. Just doesn't affect them.
  Factoring in all the specifics and under-workings of the org. it makes it extremely difficult for strong intelligent women.
  TW
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  21

  I love my children! Want to see their pictures?

  by WildHorses in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  steve 17 .

  manuel 12 .

  nicole 9 .

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  thinkers wife

  Beautiful kids Lilacs!!! Good job!
  TW
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  49

  To: Ex-JW Women - Your Side

  by Amazing in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ex-jw women: i, and i assume other ex-jw men, would enjoy hearing your views, opinions, feelings, analysis, and conclusions about your jw experience.

  how did you feel about your husband, fathers, brothers, elders, ms's, and other women in the organizations?

  did you generally feel oppression, and why?

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  thinkers wife

  What an excellent topic. It is so healing to be able to say how we really feel and felt.
  But difficult to know where to begin. My father has been an elder on and off all of my life. To give him credit, he came from an extremely disfunctional non-Witness family. So love was a foriegn thing to him. My mother also a Witness, both parents pioneering Dad for over forty years, also came from an extremely disfunctional family.
  My father is a very take charge kind of guy. Extremely intelligent. Tends to see things in black and white and goes by the book. I have three younger brothers. One has not been a Witness since he was young. One is at Bethel with his wife and an elder. And one is a ministerial servant.
  I found out very young, that even though we had a pretty happy childhood, some things just weren't right. My father had difficulty listening to my mother and I. I can remember as a teenager really speaking up defending her to both my brothers and my father. I am very stubborn and determined. And I will be heard if I think I have something important to say.
  Then I married within the framework of the Witnesses. He was very controlling and abusive. I took a lot from him trying to make the marriage right. For many years I hid the abuse. He absolutely refused to make any decision that were important, which made my life very difficult.
  I was called into the library more times than I can remember being couseled about being in submission. My question to the elders was always the same. How can I be in submission when he let's all the responsibility of running the home and business up to me. I know it sounds strange to say he was controlling when he refused to make decisions. The thing was anything I decided on was always wrong and he made my life a misery for each and every thing.
  The elders were constantly on my back saying I needed to set a good example as a pioneer and a wife. I might as well have had a bed and kitchen in the library at the KH. The bane of their lives was, that whenever they would counsel me I would quote their own literature and the Bible to refute the limitations and rules they tried to pile on me. As a result, they couldn't stand me for the most part. I have found that as a whole JW men (and unfortunately some men in general) just cannot stand an intelligent, honest, outspoken woman. For some reason it make them feel uncomfortable.
  Because of these factors I seemed to lead a very lonely life as a JW. I found the women petty and jealous and impossible to form any lasting meaningful relationship with any of them.
  It was a very strange situation for me especially considering my personality. It wasn't until I really officially left the organization that I really started feeling like a real person that could truly add some meaning to my life and to others whom I touched.
  This is a very condensed version of how it has affected me. I almost totally concur with all the things the other brave and good women here have said before me. Just with a little different slant on things.
  Again, thank you for asking, talking about it can be very therapuetic.
  TW